First, Let’s be positive first. There is great joy in
homeschooling, teaching your child how to read, write, and simple math. Those
can be some of the easiest things to teach and some of the hardest. That moment
when your child has been struggling to figure out how to do something and they
suddenly get it is wonderful. That is when we jump and cheer, looking like a
fool but who cares. You feel like the greatest mom in the world. You can do
anything in that moment.
The Bad
Some days it is stressful. Actually, most days it is
stressful. And there are times I forget to do math or reading more than one day
in a row. My kids will be ruined for life. I feel the pressure to get
everything done and done well. Most days I fall short. I wish I could relax and
was better at managing my time.
The Ugly
Oh the UGLY! These are the times that I spend my energy
yelling and wanting to hiding from the reality that I have to teach my
monsters. And I mean monsters. I had one of these days very recently…Monday. It was when we have CC class.
So, of course, it didn’t go smoothly. That would never happen on a Monday. I
got up at my usual Monday 5:17am time. I hate mornings, but if I don’t get up
that early I can’t make sure I have everything for class. Everything was going
well…until I got them up. Then everything went badly. Nobody wants to get ready
or listen. So I spent the morning yelling. We left 15 minutes late. Grrrrr.
Then I hit traffic, reminding me why we leave by 8 and no later. So what do I
do? I start acting like a 2 year old. I am screaming for no real reason and
crying uncontrollably all the way to class. I was completely ready to quit
homeschooling, put all 3 monsters in
school, and go to work or just clean the house. I didn’t care at that moment
what anybody would say or what the consequences of that might be. I knew I
didn’t want to homeschool them and be stressed out anymore. Wow was Satan doing
a work on me. Once at CC, it usually takes me anywhere from 30-45 minutes to
get my room and board set up for the morning. Amazingly, I was able to get it
done in 15 minutes, got a hug and an encouraging pep talk from a remarkable
encouraging friend (thank you), and made it for the last few seconds of tutor
prayer time. This is about where my morning changed. My oldest, Emily, played
the piano for our opening time. I thought about how far she has come since
starting lessons 2 years ago. This is not something we would have even considered
if she were in school. I thought about the blessing God has given to me in her.
She is an incredible child. I would not want her gone all day and not be
blessed by her. But then there is Ethan, who gets frustrated and starts crying
over stuff that I think is ridiculous to even get upset over. But, for him it is
a big deal. Do I really want to send him to school where he will have to be
just another student and possibly be made fun of because he is crying? No way. But,
his CC class is loving towards him, especially one student in particular, who,
when she sees Ethan crying, shows compassion and cares to make him feel better.
Thank you sweet girl. Plus, when I get to where I am upset and the tears start
to flow, he makes me feel better with a hug and kiss. He is sweet, kind, silly,
and just plain funny. No way could I do without that! Now I can just sending
the crazy girl to school. This seems very appealing since Emma she is
demanding, stubborn, and drives me insane. She gets mad and doesn't want to do
any more school work because her “S” doesn’t look right. Also, when I am
working with the big kids, Emma is distracting, disturbing, and destructive
(she make messes and has no care to clean it up.) Well, I can’t send her anyway, since she won’t
be 5 until November. Plus, when you need a good laugh, Emma is ready and
waiting to give you one. Emma’s craziness keeps life interesting. The biggest bonus
to having her home is that she gives great back rubs (for about 2 minutes) and
is one of the best cuddlers ever!
So even though the bad seems to happen most often, and there
are the ugly days, the good days make it all worthwhile and the bonus is getting
to know and spend time with my kids. At times I want to quit, but when I look
at the big picture, I know this is right where I should be. God blesses me
through my kids daily. I just need to stop letting Satan interfere with our
mornings, especially on Mondays and Thursdays.
As far as Monday is concerned, the day kept getting better and
better. I had fun with my class. Emily’s Essentials went well. And when I got
home, the kids reviewed CC memory work and did really well. I was amazed at how
much Emma even remembered. I love what we do!
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